Rejection. 

I’ve never been one to take chances. But I did. Today I took a chance. I thought to myself that it is better to take this chance and see the outcome rather than not and wonder what could have happened for the rest of my life. 

I learned so much just by taking a chance. It became another story to tell. Just another life experience that makes me unique. 

So yes it was rejection, but it proved to be more than that. It was growth. Without experiencing rejection and life experiences where things do not go our way, there would be no growth. No stories to tell our kids. No advice to give to our friends when they are going through something similar. 

It is something that builds to us as a person. It makes us stronger depending on our outlook. For me, it has made me stronger and more mature. Today’s rejection actually made me feel better about myself in an odd way. It made me proud of myself for taking that chance that many girls would not dare to take. And I actually inspired many by what I was doing. 

You never know until you try. I’ve found that things are worth the chance no matter the outcome. And I’m continually growing. One rejection at a time. 

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This is it.

It’s true what they say: high school flies by so fast. It still has not fully hit me that it is almost over.

For so long I waited to be a senior; my last Friday night football game is one memory that I will hold close to me forever. The drum line, the dancing, the people, the smiles and laughter. They were all so authentic. All of us chanting “one more time” to the drum line in hopes of it never having to end.

I thought to myself in that moment, “This it it.”

There are so many lasts that are escaping from me all to quickly. It comes and goes, and all we are left with are the memories. The memory of you dancing like you have never danced before with the people who have stood by you for years. And it sucks not knowing if there will be any more after that.

It is scary not knowing. It is crazy to think that in three years or so, some will be engaged, and then married, and then forget about your existence completely.

I have not fully accepted that I have been to my last high school pep rally and my last home football game where everything felt so right in the world. They are all just memories now. Just pictures that bring upon a smile and a tear every time I look at them.

This is it.

The Just Because Hugs.

I suppose that we all go through periods of feeling unappreciated; however, I feel that I go through them more than I should. I guess the feeling derives from not feeling loved enough though I know I am; I just can’t feel it.

But today reminded me of that love and appreciation I don’t feel as often as I use to.

A good friend came up to me, and like anybody else would, I went in for a high five, but he went in for a hug. It was a hug I was not expecting; it was a strong hug, and it took me by surprise to say the least. It was nice. I suppose that was the appreciation and love I have been looking for. In that moment, I realized that it had been right in front of me the whole time, and I neglected to notice it. Maybe I am not the sole focus of his affection, but the appreciation is there. The little sign of “you are loved” was there.

That hug was God-sent. In the midst of my crazy life, sorting out drama, and feeling highly unappreciated as I so often do, a hug put me all back together again. Things were put back into perspective. It is nice to get a hug every once in a while for no reason at all. The just because hugs. Those are the best.