Who are you really?

February 2016.

My Calculus teacher asks us submit journals for a grade every month (you are probably wondering how this relates to math in any way… I’m clueless too. Join the club.) and this month’s question was “Who are you really?”. It was such a simple yet complex question, and it got me to thinking… who am I?

I thought I would share my response and challenge you all to do the same: who are you really?:

Who are you really? I believe that this is the question that every person tries to answer and define on a daily basis. It is something that you gradually define as you grow and experience life. This is who I am in my life so far: I am an eighteen year old girl with dreams. My ability to listen and to see the world differently makes me unique. I am motivated by other successful women before me, Pinterest, and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I try to always stand up for myself, but sometimes my kindness and inability to be mean get the best of me. 

From this world, I expect nothing because the universe does not owe me anything; however through the world, I hope to find happiness. I live for sunsets, starry nights, and memories. As I leave high school and move into the college life, I will chose to be unique. I know who I am and what sets me apart from the rest of the world. In my lifetime, I have overcome grief, depression, and obesity, and I would not change a thing about those experiences because they have made me who I am today. They have allowed me to see things in a different light and to look for the best in every person and every situation I come across. Who am I really? I am an eighteen year old girl that has an obsession with coffee, sunsets, and making people smile.

What to do When You Don’t Know What to do:

The first thing you do when you don’t know what to do is paint your nails. Try something new. Maybe a deep maroon or wine color.

The second thing you do is listen to Drake. turn your speaker on full volume.

Go get $5 out of your money jar that you keep tucked away in your room. Make a list of all the errands you need to run. run them.

Pick up some coffee from your favorite coffee shop along the way. Maybe stick around for a while. Finish reading that book you have had sitting on your bedside table since March.

Go to the library. Venture into the poetry section, and don’t forget to tell the librarian how much you like her necklace.

Take the long way home; roll all of the windows down. Listen to Taylor Swift and sing along like your life depends on it.

Call up an old friend just to see how they’re doing.

Go back home. Drink some tea. Watch The Wedding Planner

and forget all about how he broke your heart.


on to live.

As I am nearing the ending of my high school career, I cannot help but constantly think about the possibilities that the future may hold for me.

What am I suppose to do with my life now?

Well, I found the answer in the midst of hanging up my clothes, and it was surprisingly simple: live.

Unaware of it before, I realized that I have my whole life ahead of me. I am eighteen years young with a good heart and wild dreams to help lead the way. I have been so concerned with growing up fast and wanting to get to the good part NOW that I have forgotten about the in-between. I have forgotten the blissfulness of the steps that come in-between the zeniths. In the possibilities that I have conjured up in my mind, I have forgotten to be present and to live.

To take life as it comes.

I have now decided to take life day by day because that is how it was meant to be. No more worrying about the future because it is in the hands of the Creator of the universe. It is out of my control anyway, so why worry?

On to the next adventure. On to the next story I’ll be able to tell to my kids one day. On to the in-between. On to live.

8 Things I Learned in High School

One lesson for every semester of your high school career.

It is tough being a girl in high school. You’re trying to establish who you are and what you stand for. It is a time of growth and discovery that no matter how you experience it, you will never forget it. So here are some things I learned throughout the years:

  1. Boys should not be a main priority.

The first day of high school, I walked in to the first day of the rest of my life and what is the first thing you think I notice? The boys. They’re everywhere. However, I quickly noticed that it’s just not worth it. It took some time, but I have learned: there is no need to constantly be worrying about “needing” a boyfriend. You are so young. There are more important and far greater things in life than dating the boy on the football team (to quote tswift). Four years from now, what is going to matter more: your GPA or some stupid boy you cried over?

I am not saying that boys are a bad idea… just issue caution in this area of life.

2. Friends are important.

Friends will get you through the years without going completely insane, but you have to remember that they, like all human beings, are flawed and will let you down from time to time. Forgiveness is key, but…

3. Yes there are such things as horrible friends.

If someone makes you feel like crap on a constant basis, drop them. Keep those close to you who build you up, encourage you, and are never worried that you will be better than them. Filter out the negativity. You do not need that in your life especially during your high school years.

4. It’s okay to let yourself have fun.

If you get invited to a New Year’s Eve party, birthday party, or even to lunch, GO. It is perfectly okay to take a break from the hustle and bustle of high school to make some memories. So, go to sonic with your best friend at midnight, go to every football game, and when you get the chance to, dance.

5. Girls are mean.

This one doesn’t really need an explanation.

Also see number 7.

6. Be yourself.

As cliche as it sounds, be yourself. Do what you want to do, and be who you want to be. Don’t care about what everyone else thinks because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. So, don’t waste your time trying to be someone you’re not. Play your music as loud as you want to, and don’t be afraid to dance.

7. Choose your battles wisely. 

Most people are looking for a reaction from you. Don’t give in to them. Breathe in. Breathe out, and rationalize. Learn when to walk away and when to confront the situation, and be mature about it because it could cost you a friend. The tongue is a very powerful weapon, so watch what you say and how you portray it.

8. It will all be okay.

If there is one thing I have learned about high school, it is that it’s unpredictable. But in the end, somehow it always works itself out. Even when it feels like it’s the end of the world, it’s not. When you’re young, it always feels like everyone is against you, but they’re not. I promise you that it will all be okay. If there is one thing I could go back and tell to my 15-year-old self, it would be, “It’s all going to turn out just fine, so stop worrying.”

I thought they were lying when they said that high school will be the best four years of your life, but they weren’t. I would not have traded the last four years of my life for anything, and if I could go back and do it again, there is no doubt that I would do it the same. I have learned so much and established some amazing friendships that I can only hope will last forever.

So to those who still have time left, enjoy every moment and take it all in. Because high school wasn’t meant to last forever.



I’ve never been one to take chances. But I did. Today I took a chance. I thought to myself that it is better to take this chance and see the outcome rather than not and wonder what could have happened for the rest of my life. 

I learned so much just by taking a chance. It became another story to tell. Just another life experience that makes me unique. 

So yes it was rejection, but it proved to be more than that. It was growth. Without experiencing rejection and life experiences where things do not go our way, there would be no growth. No stories to tell our kids. No advice to give to our friends when they are going through something similar. 

It is something that builds to us as a person. It makes us stronger depending on our outlook. For me, it has made me stronger and more mature. Today’s rejection actually made me feel better about myself in an odd way. It made me proud of myself for taking that chance that many girls would not dare to take. And I actually inspired many by what I was doing. 

You never know until you try. I’ve found that things are worth the chance no matter the outcome. And I’m continually growing. One rejection at a time. 

The Power of Words.

Words. They are the essence. They hold so much power for growth, destruction, and everything in between. They are powerful. They cultivate so many feelings on such a wide range.

This is why we should watch what we say. Just pay attention; you will soon notice. Every single word that is uttered contains the power of change.

It has always fascinated me how the things we say and the way that we say them can change everything. Words have always had an effect on people. For some, they hold promise. For some, disappointment and for some, confusion. But always, they will hold power.

Let’s be honest – it’s tough to only say positive and nice things about others. It’s difficult to even go a day without giving in to group gossip when all it does is downgrade a person’s worth.

Challenge yourself to only speak positive words this week, month, or year. To only build people up around you and to encourage them. We are all fighting unseen battles, and words have the power to turn those battles into peace or into full destruction. I am certain that you have heard it a million times, but I am here to tell you once more: choose your words wisely.

Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

being your best self.

I have always heard the challenge to be your best self in everything you do whether it is physical fitness or mental stability. This challenge to be my best self has made me push harder to be my best, true self. It has opened my eyes to show me that I am indeed amazing and am capable of so much more than I think I am. It has made me reevaluate situations and pour my all into everything I do. It is a challenge that every being should take on.

Trying your best at everything you do and being your best self most certainly will not come easy, however, from what I have seen, it is so worth it. It is another form of loving and accepting yourself. It shows you what you are capable of, and it shows those around you who you truly are. I suppose being your best self could be known more familiarly as going the extra mile and stepping a little out of your normal comfort zone.

So with all of this being said, it is important to love yourself and unleash your full potential in what ever it is you do on a day to day basis. Whether it means you getting out there and following all of the crazy dreams inside of your head or you simply smiling more. Be yourself. Be your BEST self. And chase after all of your dreams because I believe in you, and you should believe in yourself too.

let’s agree to disagree

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. A recent personal experience made me realize something very essential to life: just because you do not agree with someone else’s opinion does not mean that you should degrade them as a person. It is a very simple, yet hard concept to grasp and even harder to actually put into action. We all have different opinions, and that is perfectly fine. We should all stop disputing and agree to disagree. I never really understood the whole meaning of agreeing to disagree until now. When you disagree about an issue with someone no matter how serious, you feel tempted to look at them differently, but it should not be that way. You should still respect them and their opinion no matter what because at the end of the day, they are a person just like you are. Friendships are constantly being ruined by people disputing and disagreeing over issues going on around them. People tend to, more often than not, formulate a negative or positive feeling toward a person just because they either agree or disagree with that person’s personal opinions. In order to make the world a better place, let’s try to be more respectable of other’s opinions. We all have different minds with different experiences, backgrounds, and thoughts. Respect and be respected.

Another Chapter

Another year of school has come and gone and I am way too much in touch with my emotional side. It is all so bittersweet. All of my life I have been waiting for this time in my life, here it is, and it’s not as fulfilling as I thought it would be right here in this very moment. But, looking back, it was everything I wanted and more. I would not trade the memories I made for anything in the world. All of the laughs and the smiles, I will hold close to me forever. This year I have gained so much. I have been blessed enough to gain knowledge, amazing friendships, and memories that I will never forget. This past year was the single best year of my life. Being loved unconditionally by amazing friends truly makes a difference in happiness and real, pure, genuine joy. Once you are in a moment, you will never get that moment back which makes me entirely too sad and nostalgic, but this insight has also taught me to live in the moment. Take it as it comes and just enjoy it while you can, because once you get it, there is no getting it back.

“It is finished.”

I am drained. I try to tell myself that I’m okay and that I can do this, but I know I can’t. I go through periods of joy and periods of depression. The other day I wrote a bible verse on a chalk board behind my door. It says, “Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’ John 19:30”. It is a verse that shakes me and sometimes even gives me chills. It reminds me that it is finished. No matter what I have done, and no matter what I do: it is finished. My sins are forgiven because Jesus died bearing the sins of the world on his shoulders. He was the ultimate sacrifice, and He is risen. So I can be sure that even through my periods of joy and extreme sadness, I can count on that promise. The promise that it is finished. And it will be. Forever.

“When He had received the drink, Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’ With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”

I’m still learning to love and forgive myself completely. But I know that through it all Jesus loves me, and that is the only sure thing I can count on.